What is love? When we say we love someone or something, what do we mean? I tell Ally that I love her all the time, but I also say I love yoga, but I don’t mean it in the same way.
To only have one word for love is a limitation of the English language. Italians use “amore” in its various conjugations. Ancient Persian had 80 words to describe different types of love. In Greek, there are three: agape, a holy unconditional love; storge, the love between parents and children; and philia, the love between friends and extended family. The Greeks understood that we can love different people in different ways and found a way to express this clearly.
In yoga, we think of love as a reflection of the supreme consciousness. The supreme consciousness is in all of us and in everything, and so, in this sense, love is in all of us as well. We are all connected, therefore we are all love.
However, our hearts can only carry so much love. We have a bottomless well for our family. Their hearts are ours, and ours are theirs. But beyond our family, our hearts sometimes run out of love. This is something I work on every day, as part of my yoga practice: increasing the amount of love my heart can carry.
A limited amount of love is not a problem for artists with autism. They carry more love in their hearts than others can. I see Ally express that love through her art. Watching her paint or make a collage, I see a heart overflowing with love and a strong desire to show that.
When I look at her painting, “I carry your heart in my heart”, what strikes me is the way it shows a heart encompassing smaller red dots, representing to me other hearts. They might be family members, friends, caregivers, and people she has met. Whoever they are, they all reside in the larger heart, being cared for and sheltered.
Ally carries more love in her heart than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s inspiring, like her art. It makes me lean deeper into vulnerability, to make my heart be more open for others. In yoga, we stretch the body, tighten and release muscles. It makes us pliable and flexible.
In the same way, leaning into our vulnerability opens our hearts. Every time we do that, tighten up and then release our vulnerability muscles, we become a little stronger and a bit more flexible. In time, we can increase the love capacity of our hearts.
If love is everything—if the universe is constructed of love—then love is an inexhaustible resource. But our hearts are only so big. Love is a muscle though, and we can train it to grow and carry more love.
As Pema Chodron says, “Love and compassion are like the weak spots in the walls of ego.” When we exercise love and compassion, we can increase the capacity of our heart, little by little.
We often hold back when interacting with others because we don’t want to be hurt. But what is being hurt? Our ego. This is something artists with autism have already figured out.
Ally does not let her ego get in the way of reaching out to others, especially through her art. Her paintings tell a clear message that seems simple, but is actually very profound once you reflect upon it.
Ally has another painting I love, “Best Buddies”, which features two toucans. It seems simple, but looking at it closer, I see that the two birds have different colored bills: one orange, one green. They are not the same, yet they are best buddies. Our differences don’t need to separate us; we can carry love for those who are not the same as us. A simple painting, but one that carries Ally’s heartfelt wish that we all learn to live together with love.
“We’re all spinning on the same ball,” Ally says, and she’s right. We are all the same, full of love, with big hearts to carry others’ hearts. Are you worried your heart isn’t big enough to carry any more love?
Gently, I would say, please try and reach out; the heart will grow, and its capacity increases with each use. I hope Ally’s art will inspire you to consider how much love your heart can carry, and that, like me, you will work to increase that amount every day.
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